i feel sad!! i hate this feeling of depression! i have always been very confident and never cried myself to sleep! However, i miss my big boy so much i hate it! i can't believe i have been online for 2 days hopeing he is going to come online! i have not had any contact with him since wednesday and i have not heard his voice since my birthday! i hate that he was not here on my special day... oh well thats life! Life is not fare as soon as you realize it you will be one with yourself and the universe, like Miss Cronin my 6th grade teacher always said! its very true! And i hate it! I have never thought i would feel this way for someone, i was always very independant now i feel like i need him next to me!
I have put a front to everyone like its ok that pedro is not here, but in reality i feel lonely and vulnerable! I went to all these places for my birthday but indeed i did not have fun as i wished i would have. I just pretended like i had the time of my life because i did not want maritza to feel bad about all the plans! I would just think of pedro the whole time! it really blows!!!!!!! well there was points where i did have fun but for the most part NO!!!
I really love him with all my heart! I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I guess distance will make our love grow stronger!!!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
June 9
well yesterday i had worked, 6:30 to close. Then, i picked up chata, like my love says! We came to sleep at my big boys house! Adonay was not here who knows why! I had already told him that i was going to be here, so i guess thats why! buti had fun we watched sex and the city, may favotite show! also watched some other ones but we both fell asleep, thansk god because i thought she was going to talk forever! lol... i woke up this morning and took her to class at 8 am!!! sux...
Sunday, June 8, 2008
june 7
well i went to the padre game with my brothers, sal, maritza and maritza's brother! It was fun we bought the tickets and maritza did a white lie and we got a discount! but it was the ladies fault becuase she was the one who asked "if we were in the military?" I said,"No" maritza just added not us but my boyfriend is and we got the discount! They get alot of discounts like 6 dollars off the baseball games! our seats were pertty good and it was fun! especially wehn daivd would get mad and scream different stuff to the players! that was funny! i hated not having my big boy there though seeing all these people kissing eachother nad hugging becasue the game was at night so it was cold=(! We even went into extra innings and Padres won! maybe when my bigboi comes we can go to a game it should be fun!
Friday, June 6, 2008
june 5
Well today i spend time with maritza and david, her brother!
its funny because we both have younger brothers named DAVID! i woke up late like almost 11 am, lol... am a lazy ass! they woke up at 7:30 and 8am! jejejeje... i always wanna sleep in late! anyways i woke up to roxy barking the first night we had her! now we are tryign to potty train her! we ate then left! oh yeah adonay pedro's roomate call me like 10 times! he was locked out of the house! jejeje... poor dumb ass! so i went to open the door for him! then we went to the mall and lastly sea world! It was really hotttt today, so i was tired all i as doing was falling asleep! finally we left at 5:15 they close at 6 so it was close to that time! we came home and maritza cooked lumpias! they were very good with sweet and sour then hot suace! oh yeah yeah meli came too! she ate and spend time with us! then julie and marias friends came over and we played spoons and i won! so i did not have to drink! i think it was beginners LUCK! lol...
But it was fun! i guess! i just miss my big boy! which really sux! I dont know what he did to me maybe witch craft! I had NEVER fallen this bad for a boy! i sometimes ask myself is this really me! i would do anything for him! "is this really love?"
Its very difficult to answer, but i also hope he feels the same way for me!! i know his mom loves me! oh yeah she called me today just to see how i was doing! she said she was going to call me on monday and before she leaves! i think she misses my big boy and she calls me as a remedy! its ok i still feel important! its funny everybody was listening to metalk to her and they taught it was cool! yup... i am loved by her!
its funny because we both have younger brothers named DAVID! i woke up late like almost 11 am, lol... am a lazy ass! they woke up at 7:30 and 8am! jejejeje... i always wanna sleep in late! anyways i woke up to roxy barking the first night we had her! now we are tryign to potty train her! we ate then left! oh yeah adonay pedro's roomate call me like 10 times! he was locked out of the house! jejeje... poor dumb ass! so i went to open the door for him! then we went to the mall and lastly sea world! It was really hotttt today, so i was tired all i as doing was falling asleep! finally we left at 5:15 they close at 6 so it was close to that time! we came home and maritza cooked lumpias! they were very good with sweet and sour then hot suace! oh yeah yeah meli came too! she ate and spend time with us! then julie and marias friends came over and we played spoons and i won! so i did not have to drink! i think it was beginners LUCK! lol...
But it was fun! i guess! i just miss my big boy! which really sux! I dont know what he did to me maybe witch craft! I had NEVER fallen this bad for a boy! i sometimes ask myself is this really me! i would do anything for him! "is this really love?"
Its very difficult to answer, but i also hope he feels the same way for me!! i know his mom loves me! oh yeah she called me today just to see how i was doing! she said she was going to call me on monday and before she leaves! i think she misses my big boy and she calls me as a remedy! its ok i still feel important! its funny everybody was listening to metalk to her and they taught it was cool! yup... i am loved by her!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
my birthday
on june 1, 2008
i started at 10 pm going to Davin Busters!
me, maritza, sal, felix, and blonggers.
we played games and did not drink i was not 21 yet!!!
we left and went to a billards place where i turned 21!
They beat me maritza and sal! so they only sold beer and we left because i dont like beer.
Then we went to a bar! Blonggers bought me my very first drink, some german chocolate cake taste! Then the bartender gave me 4 free drinks rasberry lemon drops. We drank and played pool and left by 2 am, NO more alchol being sold!! sux
we went grabbed food, yes mexican then went to felix's house!
we ate and saw alchy's eye all ill. alchy is felix's dog, he is a bull dog.
so we ate and sal was slefish and started the firework we had by himself, so we did nto see it go up! it was suppose to be for me to strike uo at midnight but we decided to wait! nimodo...
anyways, we left because maritz needed to work!
Overall, good birthday! but i was missing my big BOY!!! mmm...=(! i think out of everthign that was what sucked the most! not having hime here to celebrate my birthday with me! But he has to do what he has to do! sacrafice....
June 2
i woke went to doctors with maritza
then went to eat at olive garden and drank their famous sangria according to sal! we drank a pitcher together not maritza she stayed away from alchol! lol... she's weak one! lol...
then we went to pick up pictures from our banquet! they came out nice!
after that we went home!!!
and i figuered all of pedro's stuff for the bank! i feel asleep and woke up i couldnt sleep my phone kept ringing!
i woke up and talked to jule and maria they are funny!!!
tehn finally pedro called me we talked for 15 min, i know because of the calling card! lol...
then i took a shower and got ready!
i got the henry's at 10 pm a whole hour late! jejeje... mexican time!
we danced and drank! soem lesbian chick was hitting on me, got kisses from guys since it was my birthday, some stocker dude reading my lips and then telling me what i had told someone 5 mins ago! he was creepy!
my other half was not there! sux... anyways we ended the night at 2 then went to eat pizza and home! felix came with us too! then we were evil to julie!! jejeje... it was fun! we wen to bed like 4 am!!!
On June 3rd
i went to PB, taco tuesday!
i was ok not bad but i simply did not want to be there! i felt lonely and lost between so many people! and i missed my other half! we left at 12:00 pm! i drank two drinks and on we went home! i couldnt fall asleep so i went online looking at pictures untill i got sleepy, 2 hours laters!!!
thats all for now
i started at 10 pm going to Davin Busters!
me, maritza, sal, felix, and blonggers.
we played games and did not drink i was not 21 yet!!!
we left and went to a billards place where i turned 21!
They beat me maritza and sal! so they only sold beer and we left because i dont like beer.
Then we went to a bar! Blonggers bought me my very first drink, some german chocolate cake taste! Then the bartender gave me 4 free drinks rasberry lemon drops. We drank and played pool and left by 2 am, NO more alchol being sold!! sux
we went grabbed food, yes mexican then went to felix's house!
we ate and saw alchy's eye all ill. alchy is felix's dog, he is a bull dog.
so we ate and sal was slefish and started the firework we had by himself, so we did nto see it go up! it was suppose to be for me to strike uo at midnight but we decided to wait! nimodo...
anyways, we left because maritz needed to work!
Overall, good birthday! but i was missing my big BOY!!! mmm...=(! i think out of everthign that was what sucked the most! not having hime here to celebrate my birthday with me! But he has to do what he has to do! sacrafice....
June 2
i woke went to doctors with maritza
then went to eat at olive garden and drank their famous sangria according to sal! we drank a pitcher together not maritza she stayed away from alchol! lol... she's weak one! lol...
then we went to pick up pictures from our banquet! they came out nice!
after that we went home!!!
and i figuered all of pedro's stuff for the bank! i feel asleep and woke up i couldnt sleep my phone kept ringing!
i woke up and talked to jule and maria they are funny!!!
tehn finally pedro called me we talked for 15 min, i know because of the calling card! lol...
then i took a shower and got ready!
i got the henry's at 10 pm a whole hour late! jejeje... mexican time!
we danced and drank! soem lesbian chick was hitting on me, got kisses from guys since it was my birthday, some stocker dude reading my lips and then telling me what i had told someone 5 mins ago! he was creepy!
my other half was not there! sux... anyways we ended the night at 2 then went to eat pizza and home! felix came with us too! then we were evil to julie!! jejeje... it was fun! we wen to bed like 4 am!!!
On June 3rd
i went to PB, taco tuesday!
i was ok not bad but i simply did not want to be there! i felt lonely and lost between so many people! and i missed my other half! we left at 12:00 pm! i drank two drinks and on we went home! i couldnt fall asleep so i went online looking at pictures untill i got sleepy, 2 hours laters!!!
thats all for now
Sunday, June 1, 2008
re: birthday
well tomorrow is my birthday!
i finally turn 21!!! i am sad thought! the one person that i would hav loved to spend my birthday with is not here, my boyfriend! he had to leave to study abroad for a month! there is plus and minus! one at least he did nto leave for a whole semester! and minus is he is here to celebrate my b-day with me! sux! =(!!!
i finally turn 21!!! i am sad thought! the one person that i would hav loved to spend my birthday with is not here, my boyfriend! he had to leave to study abroad for a month! there is plus and minus! one at least he did nto leave for a whole semester! and minus is he is here to celebrate my b-day with me! sux! =(!!!
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